Days Go By
by Nea2
Summary: LexLana 11


Days Go By  
  
"You can begin whenever you feel comfortable."  
  
Soothing. Her voice was monotone, yet reassuring... soothing to his ears and calming to his nerves. The entire setting, in fact, was just as comforting as her voice.   
  
And still, he couldn't find his own words. The reality was that "comfortable" was an elusion. He hated to think about it, to "begin" where it all began, confide in his friends, much less, to tell all to a complete stranger. But, he knew he had to... he knew he needed to. The past was suffocating him, though he daily attempted to repress the memories.   
  
"Where do I start?" His question resonated through the room. His voice did not carry the anxiety that slowly ate him away inside.   
  
Lex Luthor could never reveal any emotion slightly resembling a weakness.  
  
"Anywhere you think appropriate. Remember, Mr. Luthor…"  
  
He quickly turned his eyes from the window near him, and looked at her, intrigued by her tone, by the obvious attempt she made to reassure his state of mind. She returned her gaze, revealing the sincerity and seriousness that would soon echo through her words.  
  
"I am here to help, not hinder."  
  
Lex slightly nodded in reluctance, turning once again to the draped window to his side. He stared at the narrow light invading the room, faintly drowning, signifying the exiting sun. Quite reminiscent… it seemed too convenient, too real. "Anywhere?"  
  
"Anywhere." Her response resounded in security, urging with ease his thoughts.  
  
Still attending the vague sunlight that somehow provided more comfort than the awaiting stranger, he allowed himself to "begin."  
  
"I don't remember how I felt that day. Perhaps because I have not felt that way in a long time. Yet, I know that day was the first time I experienced those feelings. I know it because it was first time I saw her…"  
  
~  
  
She was merely seven when she walked up the stairs to the ostentatious Luther home. Her head remained down as a juvenile Lex peeked through his bedroom window, curious to whom his mother's visitors could be. He saw her clinging onto a young woman's hand absentmindedly. It was quite clear she was in her own world.  
  
And yet, somehow she knew. She had turned her gaze onto the window as Lex quickly hid behind the curtains. Thinking she had missed him, he slowly crept his head back… and to his surprise, still met her eyes. Eternally hazel, invitingly melancholy… her eyes drew him in.  
  
~  
  
"I had lost myself."  
  
In his mind, he saw her eyes vividly, transcending through the past to the present. He missed seeing them… he missed the innocence, the fact he could always get lost in them. Just now as he remembered them, he knew he was losing himself. Feeling the penetrating, yet the patient eyes of another, Lex remembered where he was.  
  
~  
  
Though quite young at the time, eleven to be exact, he knew she would be the only person who could instantly weaken his body, tear the small arrogance he already withheld. And as she entered his home, he tried to dismiss the notion. She was merely a child, the target of his bratty bullying. He wasn't about to allow his intrigue get in the way of terrorizing his new victim.   
  
"Lex, come down… we have guests," his mother yelled from below. She had no shame in crying out her requests whenever it seemed convenient to her. Her husband always hated it when she did, constantly reminding her there were servants he hired for delivering messages. She'd simply smile, laugh a little and call out to her son as if her husband had never said a word.  
  
Grunting in annoyance of his mother's order, he walked down the stairs with an unwelcoming expression. His mother smiled as she warned him with her eyes to behave. Grabbing his hand gently, she led him towards the visitors. "Lex, this is Ms. Nell Potter and her niece, Lana Lang," she introduced.  
  
"Oh my, he certainly has grown. I remember he was just a little tod when I first met him," Nell shook his small hand. Letting go, she looked back to her niece, who quietly watched the exchange. Her aunt signaled to come nearer, "Come now, Lana… shake hands with your new friend."  
  
The little girl slowly walked towards the boy and silently held her hand. Lex just looked on with a weirded expression on his face. His mother gently budged him from behind, finally getting her son to shake her hand.   
  
"Lex, why don't you take Lana to the playroom and show her some of your toys?" His mother urged him with her stern request and look to do not what she asked, but realistically ordered. "Go on, Lex."  
  
The irritated son rolled his eyes, but soon realized this would give him the chance to unleash one of his pranks. He took her hand to her surprise and led her towards the playroom as Nell and his mother went out to the patio for tea. Once inside, he quickly sat on the floor and digging around for one of his toys as he ignored his guest. Lana simply remained quiet, watching the young boy pull out a plastic toy gun from a wooden box.  
  
"Do you want to see what this could do," he asked, not really waiting to hear for her answer. He pulled the trigger, letting a shot of blue water cover Lana's face. Seeing her drenched, he instantly roared into laughter. "It's blue dye," he said in between his fists of giggles.  
  
She simply wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket. There were still some stains left behind, but it was clear… clear enough to see the small tear escaping her eye. Lex immediately caught a glimpse of it and stopped laughing. He grew weary knowing that her crying would mean his mother yelling at him.   
  
"I'm sorry… don't cry, please," he ran up to her. "You can spray me back if it makes you feel better… just don't tell my mom or dad."  
  
Lana looked up, staring at the boy in front of her who was obviously nerved with fear though she wasn't even crying wholeheartedly. It was simply a tear. Remaining silent as he waited for some sort of reply, she just closed the proximity between them. Lana raised her hand and, with her small finger, gently traced it along Lex's head.  
  
Lex was shocked, speechless and motionless. He hadn't expected her to do that… and no one but his mom was ever allowed to touch his head. He never let anyone do so. He hated it, especially when it was done to taunt or pity.   
  
But, for some reason, he let her. He didn't even try to stop her.   
  
Lana backed away once she had finished feeling his skin under her fingertips. She stood there, unreadable and silent, gazing at him.  
  
"Aren't you going to make fun… or tell me you're sorry that I'm bald," he asked, slightly annoyed and curious.   
  
She continued to look on as seconds passed between them. Finally, she spoke. Her voice small, innocent and sad. "No."  
  
~  
  
"That was her only answer… that was it, just a no. And, I understood."  
  
Lex smiled as he saw the image of a youthful Lana, wide-eyed and pure. Meanwhile, the stranger, a few feet away, gazed at her reminiscent client. She wrote on her notebook and then looked up, "Do you remember how you felt at that instance?"  
He stirred from the nostalgia, facing her as he thought about her question. "I believed that she understood who I was… and I presume that's what made me feel real. For the first time, I felt I didn't have to pretend or hide. I couldn't… not with her, anyway."  
  
She nodded, remaining silent for seconds as she eyed him with insightful precision. "Please, continue whenever you are ready, Mr. Luthor."  
  
Lex returned his attention to the window, to where the string of light once emanated. He closed his eyes, traveling back through years, journeying to when he once felt alive.   
  
"After that moment, we became somewhat inseparable not only because Lana stayed over the whole summer, but because I had finally found a friend. Each day, we confided more and more to each other, finding relief and empathy for the emotions we felt. Our age difference did not matter, somehow we connected. And suddenly, Lana was no longer as reserved as the first time I met her. She didn't fear being noticed, especially when she knew I was there for her. And, I felt more like myself each day. But, it all had to end one day…"  
  
~  
  
The mansion flooded with people as each hurried around making sure the decorations and tables were prepared for the grand birthday festival. It was near the end of the summer and Lex's birthday had finally arrived. Yet, this was the first time he wanted nothing to do with the celebration he always anticipated. Lana was going back to Smallville the next day and that just seemed to loom over all the festivities like a black cloud. But, the worse part of it all was that they didn't even know when they would see each other again.  
  
"Will you write me," Lana had asked, shyly and hopeful.  
  
Lex gazed at the sky, enjoying the soft grass underneath his body. He tried to grasp this moment… the ease of it and the fact that his best friend sat in close proximity of him, hovering over him like a halo. "Everyday," he had replied, clinging onto optimism for her sake. "Don't worry, Lana… we'll see each other again. I promise. I'll come back for you. I always will."  
  
She smiled, believing every word without hesitation, without any real thought to the future.   
  
That night when his party began, Lex and Lana played with the other children invited to his birthday celebration. While the parents spoke business or gossiped about each other, the children ran around the backyard. As the evening came to an end, however, Lex's mother brought everyone together to cut the cake. They sang happy birthday to the young Luthor, and soon his father announced the shooting of the fireworks. All the guests immediately went outside, except for Lana and Lex who decided to watch the fireworks from the balcony.  
  
As they were shot off, Lana sadly stared, trying dearly to hold back her tears. Lex noticed, and without much thought, he gently held onto her hand. Lana directed her gaze to their hold and onto his eyes.   
  
"Happy birthday, Lex." A colorful firework shot up as the young girl stepped forward and gingerly placed her lips on his. Innocent, tender, lasting only seconds… but unforgettable in its entirety to outlast simple memories.  
  
~   
  
"The next day she was gone."  
  
Lex suddenly stood up, burying his hands into his pockets as he moved near the window, which now provided a view of a dark Metropolis. In silence, he stared at the city's lights and the rushing cars in traffic. There was no simplicity to the congested nightlife of the industrialized city. It breathed in complication when its inhabitants just wanted reprieve… much like its prince. That instance of childhood, that moment of simplicity exemplified everything he desired.   
  
"For three years, we wrote to each other… until that is, she began mentioning a boy by the name of Whitney. Apparently, she was developing a crush, though she never made it explicit. Nonetheless, I figured we were growing apart, especially since I was entering my years of teenage angst. Believing I was too old to waste my time on a 'child,' I stopped responding to her letters. And soon enough, she stopped sending them. I thought that was the end of our friendship, however she still held on to hope…"  
  
~  
  
Nell had finally decided to accept Mr. Luthor's invitation to Metropolis, and Lana couldn't be anymore thrilled. It meant she would be able to see Lex, regardless of the fact that they had ceased from writing to each other. She still hoped they could salvage whatever was left from their friendship. Granted, he had probably changed from the little boy she once knew, but to her, he would always be Lex, her protector and best friend.   
  
Unfortunately, Lionel Luthor revealed that Lex was not at home. He suggested that while he spoke business to Nell, she go see the new indoor pool. Of course, Lana complied, seeing there was nothing to do anyway. Disappointed she wouldn't have the opportunity to see Lex, she wandered off, guessing as to where the pool could be.  
  
When she finally found it, she could not believe her eyes. Inside the pool, she found a boy she once knew with a girl she had never seen in her life. Both lacked any attire, rather they indulged on the touch of their naked skins. Lana swallowed nervously, attempting with all her might to understand what was transpiring. Yet, she couldn't… so she ran quickly, still not fast enough for Lex to catch a glimpse of the young girl.  
  
~  
"I saw her runaway, allowed her to leave with that image… and I was ashamed."  
  
She stared at her client's withdrawn expression. He looked more than defeated though he tried to conceal it. "We as humans are not perfect, we can strive to be perfect, and in the process, we make good and bad decisions… but never the perfect one… and that is perfectly acceptable."  
  
Lex nodded slowly as he returned his gaze to the starless sky. He knew she was right, yet it was still difficult to accept the many ill decisions he had made. "Nonetheless, I cannot help still feeling ashamed today… especially since that is not the only decision that continues to trouble my conscience. When I returned to Smallville, I acted as if I had never met Lana. I intended to just keep things plutonic and at a distance. It was difficult considering she had turned into the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen in my life. She was gorgeous, intelligent and still full of that enticing mystery… I remained under her spell.   
  
"Anything she needed from me, she received. We became business partners when she needed my help, we bantered when she needed to vent, we became more than acquaintances when we needed to feel alive. It was a way of trying to apologize for my past indiscretions and rekindling our old friendship, slowly but surely.   
  
"While I indulged in fruitless relationships, I thought of getting her away from her boyfriend, Whitney, by creating a match-make with my good friend, Clark. I thought if they were together, I could always keep an eye on her… and I also knew that their relationship would never last.   
  
"I was right…"  
  
~  
  
Near the event of graduation, Clark and Lana were growing apart. Although both were heading to Metropolis University, Lana knew that Clark was still holding back something, which kept putting breaks on their intimate relationship. There was a lack of trust that was too big to ignore. If they were to step up in life together, it wasn't going to happen this way. So… they broke up.  
  
Of course, they still remained friends, promising one another they'd be there for each other no matter what. Lana loved Clark too much to let him go completely, but she also knew he wasn't the one… she had to move on.   
  
As days went by, Lana decided to concentrate on the Talon's future. Since she was going off to Metropolis University, the coffee shop's management and financial bookkeeping were all in the air. She began setting up appointments with Lex to sort out all the details. They spend many nights together at his mansion, talking business, holding battles of the wits, eating endless amounts of sweet. It seemed like old times though neither mentioned the past... until one night when things appeared to too reminiscent.  
  
Lana kept seeing the images of that summer, the words in his letters, and knew she had to ask, "Lex, why did you stop writing?"  
  
Her question had completely caught him off guard. Suddenly, the office walls seemed to be closing in on him, suffocating his composure. Swallowing nervously, he tried to remain cool and poise, "I just did. I apologize… I was an abrasively rebellious teenager."  
  
"Were you still an abrasively rebellious jerk three years ago when you came to Smallville and acted as if you didn't know me," she inquired with resentment and a hint of sarcasm.  
  
"Lana," he attempted to object. "I honestly didn't know how to approach you after all my past indiscretions. I was ashamed."  
  
She turned to him, slightly sympathizing, yet understanding his recourse. "Lex, you're the only person who really knows me, and you knew that then and you know that now… so you should have known that I would have never turned you away or thought any less of you," Lana explained. "I would never to do that to my best friend."  
  
Her last words struck with prowess throughout Lex's body, conjuring feelings he had relentlessly tried to conceal. He was speechless, amazed at the woman who stood in front of him. Without much thought, allowing his heartfelt impulses to take over, he placed his lips on hers, taking a more decisive action than he had when he was merely eleven. He took full advantage of her mouth as she allowed entry, indulging in the sweet taste of liberated tension and love. They kissed in rush, in anticipation, yet without tactless hurry… rather with the haste to finally collide with the other's soul.  
  
However, fate still had turns to make. Unbeknownst to them, Lex's fiancé, Helen Bryce, had walked in seconds after they had begun kissing. She saw how they held each other, how Lex wouldn't let the proximity distend, how he ravished her with unadulterated adoration… it paled in comparison to the way he made love to her. She couldn't even call it love anymore, not when a kiss seemed to hold more emotions and passion than their sex life.  
  
Helen grew livid, not only because of his betrayal, but because he clearly never loved her. "Lex! I can't believe you… all this time, you lied," she cried out in anger.   
  
Like deer caught in headlights, the two lovers yielded their kiss. Lex said nothing, he didn't even pay attention to his ranting and raving fiancé… all he saw was Lana running towards the door, meeting her melancholic eyes only for seconds as she exited his office.  
  
~  
  
"Suddenly I was reborn in the midst of chaos."  
  
Lex continued to look out the window, keeping his gaze fixated on the crescent moon. The timid glow surrounding the moon graced the city like it once graced Lana's face. He remembered the moment vividly. How could he forget? It was the instance in time when everything seemed to finally come together.  
  
"However, I wouldn't come fully alive until later on. Lana decided it was best that we remained friends even though Helen had left to John Hopkins, having broken the engagement for the obvious reasons. Nonetheless, I agreed, believing that our intimacy would only bring scrutiny from others. I thought Lana was right… it would be a mistake.  
  
"Yet, fate thought otherwise…"  
  
~  
  
When Smallville High's senior prom edged the calendar, Lana and Clark decided to attend the celebration together. They figured they could make better candidates for king and queen if they honored the prom as a couple. Of course, they would be nothing more than a couple of good friends.  
  
But, when the night arrived, Lana stood alone in front of the Talon. She was waiting for a late Clark, having an increasing suspicion that he wasn't going to show up. Then, she got the call. "Lana, I'm not going to be able to go… there's a bit of an emergency. I'm sorry, Lana," Clark had said on the other end of her cell phone.  
  
Of course, she understood and forgave him for the letdown. And, as she headed inside the Talon, a loud engine died behind her, allowing for a smooth and familiar voice to become audible. "I hear someone is need of a date… it wouldn't happen to be Smallville's devilish princess?"  
  
Lana turned around with a smile from ear to ear. "It could be her, that is if her suitor happens to be Smallville's spoiled prince?"  
  
"Get in the car, brat," Lex playfully demanded, amusedly grinning.   
  
Laughing and without much hesitation, she hoped in his Porsche. They drove off, quickly arriving at the prom. Their entrance brought more than stares and whispers, many were in awe and envy. Lex appeared unusually sexy, while Lana was more than just breathtaking… together, however, they were astonishingly stunning. Yet, neither one cared for their opinions or compliments. For, they were caught in the moment.  
  
They were lost in each other's world, gaze, and hold. It was all overwhelming, especially for Lana. As the night neared its end, she stepped outside to compose and rethink the whole situation, the way she was feeling. But, her solitude was soon interrupted.  
  
"Is something wrong, Lana?" Lex came from behind.  
  
Lana continued to look onto the sky, not wanting to make eye contact with someone who could make her lose her self-control so easily. "No… I just needed some air."  
  
He knew there was more to it, though. "Are you disappointed Clark couldn't make it? I know you two were in the midst of rekindling your relationship," he divulged, attempting to put aside his own feelings for her.  
  
She turned around suddenly, facing him determinately, "I'm not disappointed, nor hurt to tell you the truth."  
  
"Why's that," he asked.  
  
"I realized a long time ago that Clark and I were not meant to be. And, it's not because of him, but because of me. I never got over my first crush… my first love," Lana admitted, trying to sustain her courage. "Days go by, and I still think of him, still feel his lips on mine, still taste his love, still try to breathe him in when he's not around. I know I can't move on without him."  
  
Lex's insides felt crushed, his heart fell within. He knew she was speaking of her former boyfriend, Whitney… the dead soldier. Dismayed, he still inquired, "Who is he?"  
  
"You."  
  
~  
  
"It had always been me. Finally, I was alive again."  
  
He smiled sadly, finding the nostalgia too real, too painful. That night had unfolded so much for them. It released all their feelings, the thoughts and memories they had once buried into obscurity.   
  
"That summer we had untamable romance. We became one soul, one spirit… all we needed was each other's company to be at bliss. It fortified our relationship. So when she went off to Metropolis University, we still remained together. And, once Lana graduated and established herself as a sought after TV reporter, I asked for her hand in marriage, and instantly she became Mrs. Lana Luthor.  
  
"Unfortunately, happiness always meets its match. After I took over my father's company, I drowned myself in the business, using the tactics and attitude that my father had once articulated. Only I took them further. Power and control became my obsession, an ambition I could not liberate. Still, Lana was my weakness, keeping me from completely drowning myself. I loved her deeply, too much to hurt.   
  
"And yet, I did…"  
  
~  
Metropolis was pretty much owned by Lex Luthor. The tycoon's underhanded business style had managed to enrich his company, while expanding his notoriety throughout the world. However, no one was able to prove any of scheming strategies, though talk traveled everywhere. Clark had caught on, which had inevitably made them sworn enemies. And, although Lana harbored some suspicions, she still hoped the rumors were just that… rumors. After all, Lex was a faithful and loving husband who she was more than enamored with. There was never any reason to doubt.  
  
No doubts, until…  
  
Lana went into work, anticipating a headlining story that she was going to be assigned to. Over the phone, her boss had given her no details, telling her only that it was best to convey the story face to face.  
  
"Lana, please sit down. This is going to be difficult," her boss began. "One of my contacts called me yesterday, and said he has something on Lex Luthor. It's big enough to get him in some legal trouble. He wouldn't say what exactly… he's not giving out details unless he speaks to you. He wants to talk to you and only you. He won't give the information to anyone else."  
  
The speechless reporter was stunned. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, she didn't even know what to think. "So… you… you want me to talk to some guy who can possibly bring down my husband," she asked, stuttering in shock. "I can't… there's too much conflict of interest involved. I just can't do this."  
  
"Lana, you're a reporter and damn good one. You know exactly what you should do, and I have faith that afterwards you will make the right decision," he insisted.  
  
She nodded reluctantly as she stood up and left. After hours passed and darkness covered daylight, Lana still remained at work, trying to decide what to do. Finally, she did what was only right. She called the contact.  
  
~  
  
"Everyday I wished she hadn't made the call."  
  
Lex turned from the window, his head hung down in dejection. He sat down, returning his gaze to the white curtains. They were motionless, too long to be hanging on those windows. Lana would have probably shortened them, they would've bothered her too much if they remained lengthy.   
  
"Mr. Luthor, would you like to take a break?"  
  
Her voice stirred him from his pensive state. He had almost forgotten she was there. It seemed as if the story was just being told again to no one in particular. Yet, there was someone in particular.  
  
"No, I'm fine. This is just the difficult part of the story. Lana confronted me with the information, and in return, all I said was, 'That's how business goes.' I will never forget the disappointment and heartbreak in her eyes. Through my own greed I saw it, and knew I was going to lose her.   
  
"I immediately promised her I would reform… we made love that night with pure passion and love. It was unlike before. She seemed to give her all, while I tried to give mine, showing her my adoration and love continuously until I felt her forgiveness.   
  
"Yet, she knew my promises were empty as much as she knew I loved her. The next day, she left me. Leaving only a note that said she would forever hold me in her heart. I tried to find her, but she simply disappeared… taking my spirit, my soul, my love with her.  
  
"That's why I am here today. Days go by, and I find that I can't move on without her, I can't let go."  
  
The stranger, who listened, simply nodded. "Mr. Luthor, I could tell you how to move on. But, I don't think that's what you are really looking for. You know as well I that if you wanted to find her, you could. In fact, I believe you know where she is. I think you should go to her," she divulged wisely. "Remember, Mr. Luthor, remember what she herself once said to you… do not be ashamed."  
  
With that, the woman stood up and exited the room.  
  
~  
  
The night-sky strangely only held one star with a crescent moon that seemed to radiate brighter than usual. It shadowed a lonely figure walking by a deserted old school. The small figure seemed to stop, indulging in the darkness of the moment. Suddenly, the shadow's seclusion was invaded.  
  
A familiar presence was felt. "Lana," a whisper called.  
  
She turned around slowly, fighting back tears. Lana saw him, the man who once seemed immortal, appeared defeated and merely human. He was reminiscent of the day they finally became one.   
  
She knew it would come to this. She had always known they could never just let go. Days had gone by, and she still had him in mind. Days had gone by, he could never move on.  
  
Without words, she buried herself into his arms, holding him as tight as he held her. She would never leave. He would never let go.  
  
They were reborn, they were alive again.   
  
THE END  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
What'd you guys think? Please feel free to rant or rave... give it to me straight;) 


End file.
